Strength to Continue
by SilverWolf7
Summary: The death of the last of Rin's decendants leaves Sesshoumaru devastated and broken.  With help from the Higurashi family, especially the young son, Souta, Sesshoumaru begins to heal.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer - All familiar characters are Rumiko Takahashi's. All others are mine.

Notes - First I would like to say that this story is definitely one of those emotional things that deal with hard subjects. Mainly the trouble of family and friends left behind after the murder of a child. Another note to say that I do not know any of the things in this story personally, I wanted to write something that not many people may want to tackle, but some people may want to read. So, any and all mistakes in this on the media/police/court/culture side are my fault.

I used family as the second genre because that is what this story is about. It seemed right to me, though if it should be changed I will, just as long as it isn't turned to angst/drama. I think the tragedy part of the genres covers that nicely enough. It doesn't need to be stated twice.

This story has officially took over my brain, so should be updated pretty much regularly (for me). I am not abandoning Unbroken Bonds, as I am writing that too.

I used an online dictionary of Japanese to English (and vice versa) for Sesshoumaru and Rin's family name. I was looking for words that had the meaning strength in them, and this one seemed to fit the best. If wrong, I apologise.

Now, onto the story.

IYIYIYIY

Strength to Continue

"Her name is Rin," the woman on the bed panted, before closing her eyes and shivering with pain and blood loss. The tiny child that had been handed to him, just having been born began to shrilly cry, hurting his sensitive ears, but this was a noise he was now used to.

"Rin?" he asked, staring down at the slowly fading woman.

"Yes, after the first…"

He need not ask about that. He had been there, was the protector of the first, the protector of the entire bloodline down to this new Rin. The first child to take her ancestors' name.

"You will...be like a...father to her."

With a nod of his head, Sesshoumaru agreed to that, the doctors already thinking him the father. This was not true. He would never invade Rin's bloodline by mixing it with his own in that way. It didn't seem right.

Sesshoumaru spent the last remaining hours of the woman's life telling tales of the first Rin, making the time better for the both of them. He would mourn her loss, but she had passed on the bloodline to another. A baby girl. He would take good care of her, make her strong like the first, and when she is old enough be there for her children to be born.

It was all he had in this modern age. And now he held the last in his hand.

His little Rin.

IYIYIYIYIYIYIY

8 years later:

With an exaggerated sigh, Sesshoumaru looked down at the girl, tucked in her bed, the covers seeming glued to her body with how fiercely her little hands clung it over herself.

It had become a morning ritual since the beginning of this school year for them. Now in the 3rd grade, she was becoming quite a nuisance to him. He never remembered having troubles like this with the first Rin.

Yet again, the last Rin he had never cared for since birth. While the two little girls may have looked alike in certain ways, they had wildly different personalities. While the first had been rather obedient, probably due to not having much of a family for most of her childhood years until he came along, this new one seemed to think she was capable of doing anything regardless of whether or not she could do it, and seemed to think having a youkai as a father made her better than everyone else.

"Rin, it is time to get up." He poked at the lump that was trying to claim illness, and frowned. "I know you are not sick."

A shock of hair, dark brown and wild began to poke through the top of the sheets. "Do I have to go to school? I don't want to go today…"

Sesshoumaru sat on a bit of bed that wasn't currently being used by his daughter. "Are you having trouble at school?"

The girl shifted and poked her head out, before sighing softly and sat up. "No. I just don't like it. I like learning and things like that but…I want better teachers."

Keeping his grin in his mind only, Sesshoumaru pulled her to her feet and set her in the direction of the kitchen. "Go eat something, and you are going to school."

Watching as she did as he had said, he nodded slightly to himself. He had finally figured out why Rin was acting like this in the mornings. This year's teachers must be ones she didn't like.

Well, this will be an interesting year to go through. May Rin learn the life lessons it is bound to teach her. Especially the golden one that one does not always get what they want.

Soon, he was sitting at the table with Rin on his left, eating bacon. By the time he was done, Rin was laughing at the world around her, and waving goodbye from the door. He waved back and watched as she disappeared around the corner, where she usually met with some of her school friends.

He set about cleaning the house. He didn't like it being too dirty. Rin however loved to keep things as messy as possible. He didn't really have a job. He found it hard to keep one. It seemed that his manner was undesirable while speaking to bosses, and he would not be able to put up with fools around him all day to start his own business, so he got by on selling old possessions of his. Historians, museums and antique dealers loved what he could find.

He had almost finished picking things up off the floor in Rin's bedroom when the phone rang. Getting up, he went to answer it, wondering who on earth would be calling. To his annoyance it was the school.

"Yes?" he asked, irritation showing through his voice.

"Seiryoku Sesshoumaru? Your daughter, Rin, she didn't show up in class this morning."

He let out his breath in a rush of anger. That child…she thought she could do whatever she wanted. "I saw her go off to where she usually meets her friends who walk her to school. Is she the only one not there?"

"All the other children are here."

With a frown, Sesshoumaru wondered where she would run off to without her friends, and without telling anyone. Usually she wasn't this irresponsible. "I will speak to her when she gets home from wherever it is she has gone."

That was at least what he told the woman on the phone. Really, he would search out her scent and drag her back home. She should know better than to go running around the streets of Tokyo alone.

Before he could get the woman off the phone, someone knocked on the door. Setting the phone down with a patient "please hold" he went to answer the door. It surprised him to find police on the other end.

"What has Rin done?" he asked, sure somehow that this visit was due to her. Looking outside, he gently sniffed the air, trying to pick up her scent nearby. He could smell it on these men, but definitely not close by. Wouldn't she be with them if they were bringing her home?

Panic begun to settle iron claws into his gut.

"Where is she? Where is my daughter?!"

The police at the door looked up at him, before one of them straightened as much as he could and looked into his eyes. "Can we come in?"

It was asked as a question, yet one never really refused the police. Well, he supposed there are people who did, but he didn't want to stand around waiting all day and he got the distinct idea that they were rather uncomfortable standing there.

"Of course," he answered, waving them inside towards the lounge room, where a couch was that could seat both of them. He sat in his chair across from it, glaring slightly at the two fidgeting policemen.

The younger of the two men sprang from the couch and begun pacing. The older, watched and sighed before turning his attention back to Sesshoumaru.

"Forgive my partner. He is new to this sort of visit and it can be rather distressing to all involved."

"This kind of….." Was it just his imagination, or were they being obtuse on purpose. Why could they not just say what they are here for and get out of his home? Rin would be back soon….His breathing began to come faster. Why exactly were they here?

"There was a shooting in an alleyway earlier this morning. A child was killed. She was carrying this."

The scent of Rin about them came to him stronger now, as her wallet was pulled out of a pocket. It was in a bag, and sealed shut. He couldn't touch it to be sure…he couldn't be sure. No.

"A bag was also found, filled with school texts and writing books. They had the name Seiryoku Rin on them. You are father to Seiryoku Rin, yes?"

Sesshoumaru nodded his head, not really aware of anything other than the policeman's words and the wallet which was still being held out for him to see. It looked like his Rin's. It smelled like his Rin's… "Is it possible her things were stolen?"

"It could be possible. We will look for other prints on it later. We need to verify it is her first though. This is going to be very hard but…will you come with us please. We need you to view her body."

View the body? They didn't know if it was Rin or not. Then it could be a mistake! He held tightly onto that hope. He got up and followed the two police out the door, making sure it was locked as he exited. He forgot that the school was probably either still on the line, or hung up and trying to get in contact with him again.

All he could think, over and over as he got into the back of the car, was 'it isn't her, it isn't her, it isn't her'.

IYIYIYIYIYIYIY

The drive had seemed abnormally long for something that should have been so short, yet Sesshoumaru's mind couldn't concentrate on anything other than the mantra it had set up. Other thoughts refused to connect properly, leaving him feeling as if he had been sniffing some of that glue that Rin stuck pictures together with. It always made him feel light headed and spacey.

Slowly, he smelt the air around him, confused when he couldn't pick up much of a scent at all. Was he losing his senses? Surely he wasn't the only one to ever ride in the back of this infernal contraption. He gave his head a light shake, trying to drive the feeling that something was terribly wrong away.

The vehicle stopped in front of the building which housed the body. The body that could be his Rin's. The body that couldn't possibly be his Rin's. Rin was on her way to school, or stopped on her way there to play in a nearby park that she liked to kick around a soccer ball with her friends. She would be on her way home soon, no doubt, worried that she would get into trouble. She would be in trouble. She knew better than to skip school, though it hadn't been something she had ever done before.

The door was opened and he stepped out, shivering slightly at a small breeze, though it wasn't cold. He looked at the sign on the door, proclaiming in big words, that this was the coroner's building. Currently there was a child in there, shot and killed earlier today. One that had stolen from his Rin.

His mind refused to believe that it could possibly be his Rin.

He followed the two detectives into the building, shivering again at the feel of death that seemed to permeate the area. He couldn't smell it. Something was definitely wrong with him. Maybe he was getting sick…

The journey to the room that he was being led to was only a few short minutes, but to his distorted sense of time, it seemed to take centuries. The younger man entered, leaving him alone outside the door, with the older of the two.

"Ready?" he was asked. With a shake of his head, Sesshoumaru took a deep breath and entered the room, regardless of his state of unease. It was then that a scent managed to get through his sense block, and it smelled a lot like Rin. It was barely there, seemed to be wafting around in the background, so he managed to relax a tiny bit, as he walked towards the metal table that held the small body.

He was sure that Rin was a bit taller than whoever it was that laid on the table.

Now that he was there and was standing in front of the sheet that would tell him or not who this victim was, he decided that he would rather be somewhere else, anywhere else, as long as it was as far away from this room as possible.

The young man waited until he gave a small nod of consent, saying that he was as ready as ever to view the body, and with that one slight movement his whole world crumbled.

Closing his eyes, he stepped away, leaning against another of the long metal tables for support, as his legs seemed ready to give out on him. Nausea wound its way through his stomach, not enough for him to throw up, but enough to leave a horrid taste in his mouth.

He needed out of this room before he did something stupid. Like touch her. He had been told in the car, but he only now remembered, that he was allowed to touch at least the sheet covering her but now he was here, he just…couldn't.

He should be able to get a scent of the killer, pick up on it himself, but he could barely smell Rin herself. Nothing else seemed to matter.

A hand on his shoulder and a nudge towards the door was all the encouragement he needed to step away from the table, making sure that his feet would carry him and not collapse under his weight, and make his way slowly out of the room.

The older one of the police again he noted as he lifted his head and looked about him seeing the world as if through different eyes. The nicer one of the two. The one that had asked if he was ready, the one who had gotten him out of that room and the sickening display he had just been shown.

"It is her?" came the gentle voice beside him, and he took in a deep breath that seemed to do nothing to get air into his lungs and nodded.

"Yes, that is her."

A lot more was said, about other family members if there were any, a few pamphlets and books were handed to him, but he didn't seem to be able to read the words though he should be able to.

Because of their need to find the killer, and his own need for whoever did this to come to justice, the body would be kept for longer than normal, and it may be two weeks before a funeral could be done.

An autopsy would be done. They were going to cut up his little girl.

He was told if he had any questions regarding the case, to just ask.

He was just glad that the nice one had stayed with him when he told blankly that Rin was all the family he had left. Someone else was there, telling him more information on things he should know he was sure, but his hearing seemed to be just as impaired as his sense of smell.

One thing did end up coming through his muddled brain and made him shudder. They asked his permission to tell the media. With people knowing what she looked like, someone may have seen someone with her and call in to give a statement.

Someone had called the police because of a disturbance. Maybe someone had seen her killer, and had gotten scared and ran from the scene. Or maybe the killer had a sense of guilt, called the police themselves and fled afterwards. Either way, Rin was dead, and he was alone.

He gave his permission, as long as he was left out, and he wouldn't be hounded by media himself. He handed over one of the small school photos from inside his wallet to them. After all, there were others who should learn of her death, he just didn't know them personally. He had other photos.

By the time he left, he was sure of two things. One, he would not be getting any sleep that night, though he was feeling incredibly tired, and two, he couldn't go home and find himself in an empty house.

He spent the night aimlessly walking through the busy Tokyo streets.


	2. Chapter 2

Notes - Second part finally up. In which Sesshoumaru meets Souta nad the Higurashi family. Thanks for the review Vulcana, I wasn't expecting it :) Any and all mistakes in this story are mine. And if you are wondering, yes I have a first name for Mama Higurashi and for the nice detective all planned out, but you won't know them until next chapter. It took me ages to come up with the names too...and I am still unsure, but they are what they are. The next two chapters are planned, and a few little scenes after that. This story will be updated.

As for those reading Unbreakable Bonds, don't worry, next chapter will be out sometime in the near future, it is longer than my other chapters, being over 3000 words with still quite a bit to be typed up.

Strength to Continue – Chapter Two

A week had passed by in a blur of streets and sleepless nights. During the days, he stalked about the police station he had been taken to, trying to gain any information he could, but nothing. Either they were keeping quiet about the case, they were too busy working on another, or they just didn't care.

Sesshoumaru shook his head. He knew that wasn't true. There was one detective who had taken an interest, the nice one. He was heard muttering about it sometime earlier that day, something about finding the child killer and giving him what he deserved. Sesshoumaru was hoping that meant handing the bastard over to him. He would know just how to deal with murdering mongrels like that…

Yet he couldn't seem to wrangle up the energy to care about anything other than figuring out a way to get Rin back. The first one had come back twice from death, once by Tenseiga (it was too late for the sword, her soul would have already been ushered on to the next world) and the other by his mother. Perhaps if he could find her again….

Sighing, Sesshoumaru shook his head and put his hands together in front of his chest. He was at an old Shinto shrine and had decided that the best thing to do would be to pray, even if he wasn't the most religious person in the world.

He prayed for Rin to find her way back to him, he prayed that she was well, but he never once prayed for her soul as if she had passed on from this world forever. To do that would be like admitting defeat, accepting that she wasn't coming back, and right now, he just couldn't do that.

He missed the sound of someone walking up to him, until a hand was felt on his shoulder. Forgetting himself, he let out a low growl of warning, and the hand disappeared. The woman sat beside him. Somehow there seemed to be something…oddly familiar about her though he had never seen her before in his life.

"I'm sorry, I mistook you for my daughter's friend," the woman stated, smiling up at him in a disarmingly gentle way. He stopped his growling in order to let out a huff of disbelief.

"No one looks like me," he stated, turning his bright gold eyes towards her plain brown ones. It didn't seem to shock her like it would most other people, instead she seemed to frown.

"You have Inuyasha's eyes…"

A small intake of breath was all the answer he gave. How could this woman possibly know his brother? Inuyasha was dead and gone for centuries now!

The woman shook her head and looked him over carefully, raising an eyebrow when she latched her eyes onto his own again. He got the rather odd notion that she could see something he didn't want her to see.

"You have such sadness in you. Is that why you are here? Praying for a lost loved one?"

He froze. Honestly, he couldn't answer. He was afraid that if he did it would be the end of him. Everything would come crashing down more than it already had. That was not something he was ready for. A whine escaped him in his confusion.

The woman smiled at him in a way that he suspected was supposed to be comforting, before she spoke words he never thought he would hear. "It isn't very often we get youkai at the shrine."

He sighed. "There are not many of us left. Only the powerful survive"

"Well, then it is an honour to meet you. Why don't you come to the house and I can get you something to eat. We have meat."

The offer was a good one, and while he would really like to turn it down, his old fashioned sense of honour made him accept. He couldn't turn down the gracious offer of food as a visitor to someone else's home. He was just not hungry. At all. He hadn't eaten anything in a week. And he had just about as much sleep, if not less.

He was in bad shape. Perhaps a little food would help him feel better…

Standing up and giving a slight bow, he followed the woman around the shrine to the house that also sat on the property. It was a two storied building, and it had a very comforting presence around it. He summed that up to it being part of the shrine, not so much the people who lived there.

Ushered into the house, he looked about. It was a normal building really. Not new exactly, but definitely not as old as the shrine itself. It was filled with the smell of cooking meat. His sense of smell was still not any good, but the scent was everywhere and so strong even a human upstairs could pick it up. He sniffed the air slightly, hoping to smell something under the meat.

He couldn't. Sighing, he kneeled at a place at the table that was pointed out to him. A steak, barely cooked and still a bit bloody was put in front of him. Nothing else was with it, not even a little bit of rice. He nodded. This woman knew a bit about youkai then.

His mother had been able to digest almost anything, his father only certain things. Sesshoumaru had gotten the taste for meat early in life, and had never been able to digest anything else properly. He could eat other things, but it usually left him wishing he hadn't.

He ate what was in front of him, not noticing it was gone until there was none left, and then something odd happened. He noticed that he actually was a little hungry. Another steak was put in front of him, this one cooked.

He ate it, while the rest of the family gathered around and ate their helping. An old man, the woman and a young boy around Rin's age were watching him eat. It was rather unnerving. In the space of a few seconds he had given into temptation and had been chewing on the piece of meat using his bare hands.

Finished with the steak, he lowered his hands to his sides, careful not to touch anything before lowering his head. "I am sorry. It has been a week since I have eaten. My hunger has caught up with me."

The old man just kept on staring, but the woman smiled at him and looked to the young boy. "Yes, well, I made steak tonight trying to get Souta to eat something. He hasn't been hungry for that long either."

Sesshoumaru looked closely at the boy and raised an eyebrow, dark circles were under the child's eyes, and he hadn't eaten a bite yet, just played with the food in front of him. What did that matter to him? The only child he wanted to see was….

Giving his head a shake, trying to forget what he had begun thinking, he was about to get up, wash his hands and thank them for the meal when he yawned. He didn't want to go to sleep. He was terrified of what he would see if he did, but now that he had food in his stomach he didn't seem to be able to stop himself from thoughts of the warmth and comfort a bed could bring.

He had never been this tired in his life. Like his hunger, he hadn't really felt it until just now. His body had been too stressed to even think of sleep. But now, now his body was calmer, and the food had helped in that, filling him up (though usually he could eat a lot more than that) and making him sleepy.

He caught himself before he could rub his eyes with his hands, and stood up instead, going over to the sink and washing himself of the steaks juices that were clinging to him. He yawned again, before bowing low to the family still at the table. "I am sorry to intrude on you like this. I shall take my leave and…"

"We have a spare bed if you would like to get some sleep. You look even more tired than my boy here," the woman stated, ruffling her son's hair and making the boy turn red in embarrassment.

About to turn down their offer, Sesshoumaru thought about it. He couldn't go home. It would be too quiet and empty and he wouldn't truly get any rest at all, but here…here there were other people, here there was food, here there was a bed that was willingly given to him to use even though the owner knew he was youkai.

This was not only the strangest family he had met, especially given they lived on a Shinto shrine, but the nicest he had been welcomed into for a long time. Not since technology turned into something so high tech.

"Are you sure?" he asked, worried suddenly that this was all some giant hoax being played on him

"Of course. You look like you are about to collapse. It may be a good idea to get some rest, before that happens."

Nodding, he agreed, and let himself be led up the stairs and to a doorway that housed a bedroom. Something in it was very familiar but he couldn't place what. The bed was only a single, but it was long enough to fit him on it, and was gloriously soft and warm.

He didn't even manage to get under the covers or dressed into a pair of pyjamas which were put on the edge of the bed for him to use, before he was asleep.

IYIYIYIYIYIYIY

When he had gone to sleep, the sun was then setting, being late in the afternoon, so when he lazily opened his eyes the next morning, a continuous and odd buzzing sound coming to his ears, he wondered why it was suddenly dawn.

Yawning again, this time stretching out and letting himself lay in bed, he wondered what there was to do today. The ringing noise stopped for a minute before starting up again, and to his odd realisation, he noted that it was his phone. Someone must have taken it out of his pocket during the night and charged it. He must have been really tired if he hadn't been woken up through even the slightest touch. He had always been a very light sleeper.

Rubbing at his eyes with his hands, he sat up in the bed, glad to see that he was still clothed in what he had been wearing for the last week, yet knowing something in that thought was just plain…wrong.

The ringing stopped again before he got to his phone. He waited a few minutes before shrugging and pocketing it again. He had more important things to think upon just then anyway…like where this shrines bathroom was, he needed to go.

His mind was groggy from waking up after sleeping so soundly for probably the first time in his life, and he was in a strange house. Thankfully the boy was up and about and pointed him in the right direction.

After he was done, he headed downstairs, rubbing tiredly at his face and slumping onto a couch in front of the television. He just hoped that the family he was staying with didn't think him overly rude for invading their house like this.

The boy, looking just as tired as he still felt came and sat down next to him. "I'm sorry. I was told to make you more comfortable last night when you went to sleep, and your phone was in your pocket and your wallet..."

"Unless you stole something, don't apologise."

"No, I didn't. It just brought up..." Souta shook his head. "Seiryoku, as in...Rin?"

Sesshoumaru let out an involuntary gasp and turned to truly look at the boy for the first time since last night. He closed his mouth tight and just let himself nod once, slowly, to know that it was the right Seiryoku.

Souta's expression fell. "Oh, I was hoping you were someone else. I never met her dad, but she was always telling everyone that there was a reason for it. She didn't tell us why..."

Sesshoumaru found that he couldn't speak. It was like his throat was closed off from all sound. It wasn't painful, and it wasn't the same as on the verge of crying (oddly enough he wasn't) it was just...he couldn't think of words to say.

This child, this boy, knew his Rin. Had talked to her. "You knew her well?" he asked when he found his voice again.

Souta nodded. "She was on my mixed soccer team. I still have her ball from when she left it at the park last time we practiced together. She was a friend too. Rin's the first person I know who has..."

Infinitely glad that the boy stopped his rambling there, lest he did find himself crying, Sesshoumaru got up and walked over to the window, looking out at the shrine. Already the first early morning visitors were paying a visit. He spotted the old man from the night before out there, pottering about the shrine grounds.

Early risers. This was good. He too rose early in the mornings. It meant one had more time in the day to complete things that needed doing. Right now though, all he wanted was to crawl right back into the bed he had slept the night in and cover his head with the sheets, pretending that what he had just heard wasn't true.

He buried his head in his hands and took some steadying deep breaths, trying for calm. He was pulled back into the real world by a motherly voice calling out that breakfast was ready.

Blinking, he slowly followed Souta into the kitchen, was placed at the same spot he had shared dinner with them last night and a few rashers of cooked bacon were put in front of him.

He ate one strip of the meat, but unlike last night found once again that he had no appetite. He left the others, knowing it was impolite and rude, but sure if he tried to eat them that they wouldn't stay down for very long. The last thing he needed right now was to get physically ill.

Watching him like a hawk, Souta slowly reached out not for some of the meat in front of him but some rice. The boy ate it slowly, and soon had eaten everything but the egg. The woman beamed at him, giving him a hug as if it was the proudest Souta had ever made her.

The boy blushed like he had last night. If he was in a good mood, Sesshoumaru might have called it rather funny and imagined what Rin's face would look like. He closed his eyes quickly, trying to shut out any memory of his daughter.

He was saved any more embarrassing scenes in the wrong way. His phone rang again, and he got up, excused himself and went out to the lounge room to answer it. It was the police.

"Have you found anything out? Has someone been caught?" were the first things out of his mouth when he answered the phone and found out who it was.

Disappointment slammed him hard, and he sat down on the couch before he fell to the ground. There was still nothing, no news whatsoever. The bastard was going to...

"What do you mean I shouldn't worry about it? Of course I worry about it! How long does it take to catch a killer?"

The answer to that was also one he didn't like, and he closed his eyes and took deep breaths as to not completely lose control over himself. And then he found out the reason for the call and anger disappeared to be replaced by blind panic mixed with an overwhelming sadness.

"Oh...I'm sorry for yelling. Yes, I am sure I can find someone to go with me...thank you. Good bye."

He hung up and found that his legs didn't want to support him right that moment and so he stayed sitting on the couch, staring at the blank television screen. Movement at the corner of his eye made him turn his head, to find that the woman and the boy were both looking at him.

"Who was that?" Souta asked, coming back over to sit next to him. His mother stayed standing but walked fully into the room.

"The police...They have released Rin's body..."


End file.
